• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
Living Well Kitchen
  • Home
  • Recipes
    • Breakfast
    • Appetizer & Snacks
      • Snacks
    • Main Dish
      • Vegetarian
      • Seafood
      • Meat
      • Poultry
      • Pork
    • Specific Recipes
      • Vegetarian
        • Vegan
      • Kid Friendly
      • Gluten Free
      • Dairy Free
      • Nut Free
      • Egg Free
      • Soy Free
    • Sides
      • Vegetables
      • Beans
      • Grains
      • Potatoes
      • Bread
      • Sauce
    • Salad
    • Soup
    • Drinks
    • Dessert
    • Slow Cooker
    • Instant Pot
    • Season
      • Winter
      • Spring
      • Summer
      • Fall
  • About
    • Meet Meme
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
  • Videos
  • Easy Meals
  • Quiz
menu icon
go to homepage
  • Easy Meals
  • Main Dish
  • Quiz
  • Videos
  • Health
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
    • YouTube
  • subscribe
    search icon
    Homepage link
    • Easy Meals
    • Main Dish
    • Quiz
    • Videos
    • Health
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
    • YouTube
  • ร—

    Home ยป Intuitive Eating

    Self-Compassion in Eating

    Published: Apr 15, 2021 ยท Updated: Jul 25, 2022 ยท Post may contain affiliate links

    hand holding cookie with text overlay in pink that says self-compassion and intuitive eating

    All about self-compassion in eating: including the benefits, how to practice it, and practical applications, so you can feel better in your body and around food.

    hand holding a brightly colored decorated cookie with a river and blue sky in background
    • What is Self-Compassion
      • Benefits of Self-Compassion
      • Why Self-Compassion Matters in Eating
        • Intuitive Eating and Self-Compassion
    • How to Practice Self-Compassion
      • Components of Self-Compassion
        • Self-Kindness
        • Common Humanity
        • Mindfulness
        • Examples
          • Eating More than Usual
          • Clothes Not Fitting

    What is Self-Compassion

    Dr. Kristin Neff, a lead researcher in self-compassion, states, “Self-compassion entails treating oneself with kindness, recognizing one’s shared humanity, and being mindful when considering negative aspects of oneself...

    self-compassion does not entail self-evaluation or comparisons with others. Rather, it is a kind, connected, and clear-sighted way of relating to ourselves even in instances of failure, perceived inadequacy, and imperfection.”

    A study* from Homan, et. al. states, "Individuals high in self-compassion are mindful, kind, and nurturing toward themselves during situations that threaten their adequacy, while recognizing that being imperfect is part of 'being human.'"

    According to Kristin Neff, there are three components to self-compassion:

    • Self-kindness vs. Self-judgment
    • Common humanity vs. Isolation
    • Mindfulness vs. Over-identification
    pink sunset sky with dark palm trees

    Benefits of Self-Compassion

    There are multiple benefits of practicing self-compassion, and they aren't just for eating. For instance, self-compassion promotes positive mental health and can help you reach your goals.

    Here are some of the many rewards:

    • supports motivation
    • enhances feelings of self-worth
    • reduces self-handicapping
    • less afraid of failure, less affected if fails happen
    • fosters positive emotions like optimism, wisdom, curiosity & personal initiative
    • improvements in body dissatisfaction, body shame, and self-worth
    • lower body surveillance and a greater appreciation

    Additionally, a study was done with older adults. It found that self-compassion protects them from developing mental health and sleep disturbance symptoms. Plus, it enhances their life satisfaction, self-care, and usual activities.

    brunette female eating at an outdoor restaurant in Portugal with wine

    Why Self-Compassion Matters in Eating

    Self-Compassion matters because it guides you in making choices that align with your body's wants and needs.

    It helps relieve you of the pressure of needing to eat a specific way to be "healthy" or to eat the "right" food. And practicing self-compassion supports you in making more health-promoting behavior choices.

    Intuitive Eating and Self-Compassion

    Self-Compassion relates to intuitive eating by helping you tune into your body's cues. This helps you determine when you're hungry or full, instead of using outside rules because you feel negative pressure from yourself.

    Similarly, it is practically impossible to make a caring decision about what you will eat or how you will treat yourself if you are acting based on shame, guilt, fear, or dislike/hatred.

    When you are practicing self-compassion, it is much easier to make choices that respect your body and self than it is when you are trying to control yourself.

    How to Practice Self-Compassion

    To practice self-compassion, try to validate, comfort, soothe, protect, provide, or motivate yourself. Next, consider the three components of self-compassion. Then, treat yourself like you'd treat a loved one.

    💕Consider which version of self-compassion you need right now:

    • validation
    • comfort
    • peace
    • protection
    • resources
    • motivation

    💕Notice if you are judging, isolating yourself, or over-identifying. Try remembering self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness (the three components of self-compassion).

    💕Treat yourself like you'd treat a friend or a child in a loving way.

    brunette female holding and smiling at a havanese dog

    Components of Self-Compassion

    To dive deeper into the three components of self-compassion, let's break each down into their opposites and how you can counteract the negative effects by using self-compassion.

    Self-Kindness

    Self-kindness means showing yourself care and respect regardless of your situation. The opposite of self-kindness is...

    Judgment:

    • Are you being critical?
    • Are you being harsh on yourself? (This is not the same thing as setting boundaries or protecting yourself)
    • Example: You think that you are bad for eating a donut at breakfast, and you feel really guilty for eating lunch.

    Try Self-Kindness:

    • It's nice to enjoy a donut when you want since you love them.
    • You are allowed to eat whatever food you want because you are in charge of your body, and no one else is allowed to tell you what is "right" or "wrong" for it.
    • If you didn't do anything to hurt someone to get the donut, there's no need to feel bad.
    • Your body needs consistent nourishment throughout the day, so you are showing it respect and care by eating a meal that you enjoy.

    Common Humanity

    Common humanity is recognizing that suffering is a part of being a human, and you are not alone. The opposite of common humanity is...

    Isolation:

    • Do you feel like you are completely alone?
    • Are you forgetting that others are having this experience or something similar too?
    • Example: You feel like you are the only one who can't stick to the diet, and it's your fault that you have no willpower.

    Try Common Humanity:

    • Almost everyone that goes on a diet is unable to stick to it. Diets & lifestyle plans are not designed to be sustainable because you must constantly rely on its rules to succeed.
    • Plans are not created with the intention for you to keep off the weight, and most people usually regain it back plus more. In fact, there are zero scientific studies that show an effective, sustainable, and safe method to lose weight.
    • The diet & wellness industry is a $70+ billion industry, and it makes money off your inability to succeed. Clearly, you're not the only one, and there are many others likely experiencing similar feelings as you. If a diet actually worked, there wouldn't be countless diets.

    Mindfulness

    Mindfulness is being aware of the situation and open to your feelings in the moment. The opposite of mindfulness is...

    Over-Identifying:

    • Are you placing your identity or worthiness in this?
    • Do you feel all consumed by these feelings or thoughts?
    • Example: You feel like you are not good enough because you do not have the "ideal" body.

    Try Mindfulness:

    • Our world makes it really challenging to feel good in a body that isn't ideal (whatever "ideal" means for that moment since its definition has changed throughout the years).
    • You are led to believe that you aren't good enough if you have a fat or larger body and that it is your fault for being this size and your responsibility for changing it. Otherwise, you don't deserve as much respect.
    • This is entirely false. Your worth does not change based on your body. You deserve the same amount of respect no matter your body size or weight.
    • Remind yourself that it's perfectly understandable you feel this way since you've been taught that having the "ideal" body is how you should be. It's normal that you'd be scared to have a body that gets made fun of, discriminated against, and judged.
    • Can you pay attention to the feelings you have? Can you remind yourself of the truth? Try to see yourself beyond the way you look.
    blonde female sitting on a grey sofa pouring chips into her mouth

    Examples

    Here are a few examples of how you might be speaking to yourself and how you can reframe it to be more self-compassionate by seeing it as responding to a situation for someone you love.

    Eating More than Usual

    You ate an entire bag of chips... see it as if your 9-year-old son ate all the chips.

    • You probably wouldn't chastise him for eating 7 servings of chips.
    • Instead, you might ask him if he is hungry and see if there is a more filling & satisfying option than chips.
    • Afterward, you might ask him to consider what his hunger signals are, so in the future, he knows when he wants a meal and when a snack would satisfy him.
    • Next time, he could have a sandwich with chips or pair the chips with a dip, salsa, or guacamole.
    Clothes Not Fitting

    You can no longer fit into your jeans from a few years ago... see it as your 12-year-old daughter is upset for not fitting into the jeans she wore when she was 8 years old.

    • Would you say "well, you need to go workout and start a new diet... you're eating too much, and your body is not allowed to change"? Probably not.
    • You might remind her that our bodies change and grow as we age, so it is a perfectly normal and healthy experience to need different clothes & sizes as you go throughout life.
    • Even though we're taught that our bodies are supposed to stay the same throughout adulthood, they are not designed that way. Your body is supposed to change, and it will. And that's normal and ok.
    • Maybe you ask her to think about all she has learned and experienced since she was 8 years old and remind her that it is something to celebrate that she has grown both physically and mentally.

    Additional Notes

    If being kind, caring, or compassionate is too much right now, simply try having a more neutral attitude towards yourself.

    You don't need to be all-loving, all the time towards yourself. That would be exhausting and nearly impossible, especially since we live in a world that is constantly telling you that you must weigh and eat less to be respected.

    Simply work to have more neutral thoughts and try to add in some that are caring, validating, comforting, soothing, protecting, providing, or motivating.


    Want more on feeling better in your body and less stressed when eating? Sign up for the waitlist for my course: The Path to Living Well to help you transform your relationship with your food and body.


    MORE INTUITIVE EATING POSTS YOU'LL LOVE:

    • Why Emotional Eating Isn't Bad
    • Intuitive Eating and Weight Loss
    • How to Enjoy Less Stressful Holiday Meals
    • What is Intuitive Eating
    • How Solo Travel Can Help You Be a More Mindful and Intuitive Eater

    Meme

    *Citations:

    Homan, K. J., & Sirois, F. M. (2017). Self-compassion and physical health: Exploring the roles of perceived stress and health-promoting behaviors. Health Psychology Open, 4(2), Article 2055102917729542.

    Kim, C., & Ko, H. (2018). The impact of self-compassion on mental health, sleep, quality of life and life satisfaction among older adults. Geriatric nursing (New York, N.Y.), 39(6), 623–628. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.gerinurse.2018.06.005

    Babenko, O., & Oswald, A. (2019). The roles of basic psychological needs, self-compassion, and self-efficacy in the development of mastery goals among medical students.Medical teacher,41(4), 478-481.

    Barczak, N., & Eklund, R. C. (2018). The moderating effect of self-compassion on relationships between performance and subsequent coping and motivation. International Journal of Sport and Exercise Psychology, 1-13.

    Barutçu Yıldırım, F., & Demir, A. (2019). Self-Handicapping Among University Students: The Role of Procrastination, Test Anxiety, Self-Esteem, and Self-Compassion. Psychological reports, 0033294118825099.

    Albertson, Ellen & Neff, Kristin & Dill-Shackleford, Karen. (2014). Self-Compassion and Body Dissatisfaction in Women: A Randomized Controlled Trial of a Brief Meditation Intervention. Mindfulness. 6. 10.1007/s12671-014-0277-3.

    Beekman, J. B., Stock, M. L., & Howe, G. W. (2017). Stomaching rejection: Self-compassion and self-esteem moderate the impact of daily social rejection onrestrictive eating behaviours among college women.Psychology & Health, 1-23.

    Cox AE, Ullrich-French S, Tylka TL, McMahon AK. The roles of self-compassion, body surveillance, and body appreciation in predicting intrinsic motivation for physical activity: Cross-sectional associations, and prospective changes within a yoga context. Body Image. 2019;29:110‐117. doi:10.1016/j.bodyim.2019.03.002

    More Intuitive Eating

    • brunette female holding a heart shaped pizza in a Parisian cafe
      Why Emotional Eating Isn't Bad
    • hand holding an apple in front of apple trees
      Should I Eat Conventional or Organic Produce?
    • havanese dog standing on arm of cream chair with a quilt in chair
      Intuitive Eating and Weight Loss
    • brunette female sitting in a blanket in Versaille garden smiling and holding a container of container of food she is about to be eating
      What is Intuitive Eating
    • Yummly
    • Share
    • Tweet

    Reader Interactions

    Leave a Reply Cancel reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    Recipe Rating




    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

    Primary Sidebar

    Welcome!

    Meme (a brunette female) is holding umbrella and spinning around in front of the Eiffel Tower wearing a denim jacket, skirt, and blue shoesHi, I'm Meme, a thirty-something registered dietitian nutritionist from Alabama living in San Diego. Here to help you enjoy food, feel better in your body at any size, and live free of diets & shame.
    Read More

    Let's Connect

    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
    • YouTube

    Most Popular

    silver fork on a white plate with green beans and pork tenderloin with mashed potatoes covered in gravy.

    Crock Pot Pork Tenderloin

    jar of chocolate sauce with a spoon in it. empty small glass ice cream cups with a bowl of cherries on a wicker table

    Easy Chocolate Sauce

    Protein Pancakes from Living Well Kitchen

    protein pancakes

    white plate with a slice of zucchini lasagna

    Zucchini Lasagna

    stack of almond butter banana cookies with one cookie facing the front on wooden cutting board with a glass of milk, banana, oats, vanilla extract, and almond butter container

    Almond Butter Banana Cookies

    spatula holding a microwave cookie

    Microwave Oatmeal Cookie

    Gluten free Crab Cakes from Living Well Kitchen @memeinge

    Gluten free Crab Cakes

    chicken salad and a ritz cracker in a glass bowl on white table with green napkin

    No Mayo Chicken Salad

    Intuitive Eating

    brunette female holding a heart shaped pizza in a Parisian cafe

    Why Emotional Eating Isn't Bad

    hand holding an apple in front of apple trees

    Should I Eat Conventional or Organic Produce?

    havanese dog standing on arm of cream chair with a quilt in chair

    Intuitive Eating and Weight Loss

    brunette female sitting in a blanket in Versaille garden smiling and holding a container of container of food she is about to be eating

    What is Intuitive Eating

    Easy Meals

    Sheet Pan Chicken and Veggies from Living Well Kitchen

    Sheet Pan Chicken and Veggies

    Curry Avocado Chicken Salad from Living Well Kitchen

    Curry Avocado Chicken Salad

    close up of a bowl of lamb curry over rice sprinkled with mint and coconut flakes.

    Instant Pot Lamb Curry

    Tuna Cucumber Avocado Salad from Living Well Kitchen

    Tuna Cucumber Avocado Salad

    Soup

    bowl of turkey white bean chili topped with fresh avocado next fresh avocado and cilantro.

    White Bean Turkey Chili

    two bowl of beef soup on blue and white napkins with silver spoons and garlic bread

    Instant Pot Vegetable Beef Soup

    steak potato soup in a bowl with green onions and grated cheese with a silver spoon next to potatoes, pot of soup and block of cheese

    Steak and Potato Soup

    blue and white napkins under two bowls of pumpkin soup topped with bacon next to a small bowl of bacon

    Pumpkin Soup with Bacon

    As Seen On:

    As Seen On

    In Season

    white bowl with avocado egg salad.

    Avocado Egg Salad

    two bowls of rotini topped with crawfish Monica sauce next to lemons, green onions, and a green napkin.

    Crawfish Monica Recipe

    basket of an air fryer with a potato inside next to a plate of twice baked potatoes

    Air Fryer Twice Baked Potatoes

    bowl of spaghetti squash topped with a turkey and tomato sauce and fresh basil next to garlic bread and a pot of sauce

    Spaghetti Squash with Turkey Meat Sauce

    Footer

    Living Well Kitchen is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

    • Recipes
    • About

    Copyright © 2023

    We use cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.Accept Reject Read More
    Privacy & Cookies Policy

    Privacy Overview

    This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
    Necessary
    Always Enabled
    Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
    Non-necessary
    Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
    SAVE & ACCEPT